he is the space between

Earlier this week at the nursing home I work at, I walked into a man's room who was in pretty serious respiratory distress. This was really surprising to me because he hasn't been sick or even showing signs of dying. I sent him to the ER, and he ended up passing away later that evening. It was just so fast, so sudden, unexpected. Whenever someone I have cared for passes I think about the fragility of life and the beauty of leaving this world for the next, but this time it was so abrupt. He was really struggling to breathe, and I take each breath for granted, but each breath is vital, but it's just air.

When you look at a molecule the total area of the thing is mostly empty space between the atoms that make it up, but the thing still holds together. Everything we see that looks completely solid is actually made up of these things that are mostly empty. What's in there, I've heard it said that it is God in there holding the thing together, I don't know, but it sure is a beautiful idea.

Recently, I received a voicemail from my brother Brett. He simply wanted to tell me how cool it looked to watch rain drops on pavement in the reflections of headlights of cars. More specifically, he was pointing out that even though humans put together the cars and the pavement, God is the one who makes it look amazing to watch the rain play tricks with the two. Man made the canvas of the show, but God choreographed the dance.

Due to my schedule at work I've decided to try and find another job. My friend suggested requesting to move to part time at my current job starting in August in order to give me a motivation to either find a job or take the pay cut. This decision forces me to rely on God to either provide a job or make it possible to take the pay cut. I'm going to have to lean in and trust him. God is in that space between breaths, he's in that rain drop show on the street. He's in every molecule if only by the laws of physics that only he knows fully cause he wrote them. Even though it's against the odds that a nurse with less than one year of experience will be given the preferred day shift, I am moving into and uncomfortable place of trust that it will happen. He's there in that space, in that place of "probably nots", and he'll come through I'm banking on it, literally.